


It Comes in Waves

by ermIdunno



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (Psst...HE DOESN'T DIE), ....kinda, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Alec, Hurt/Comfort, I should stop, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Sorry, I'm really mean...but I like it., Injured Alec, Is anyone else freaking out!?, Just tryin to warn ya, Major Character Injury, Poppin my fanfic cherry, Prepare yourself., Sacrifice, Very First fic!!! Eeeeee!, Whump, i'm freaking out, not really - Freeform, this is gonna hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 05:44:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14442639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ermIdunno/pseuds/ermIdunno
Summary: “Magnus, I was always going to go first. We always knew that.”“No no Alexander. Not like this. Not for me.”_______Alec saves the one he loves, but at a steep price and Magnus can do little but watch as his healing magic is tragically useless. Will Alec be able to cope? Will Magnus be able to say goodbye?





	It Comes in Waves

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Hello! *I yell into the dark void that is the internet*  
> So this is my very first Fan Fic & i'm super duper excited to share it will ya'll/nervous as hell! But heck why not? Ya know?  
> Just keep in mind I plan on doing a prequel of sorts to explain how our sweet boys got into this mess. I'm throwing you into the hot and heavy emotional middle cause I mean...come on..i'ts way more fun that way! I really hope if anyone reads this you enjoy it a whole bunch (also get the tissues ready)!! Mwah!
> 
> **This isn't very graphic, but I am mean and it is SAD. There is the mention of blood and a heavy subject matter so please keep this in mind before you choose to read :)

            “Magnus, I was always going to go first. We always knew that.”

 

            “No no Alexander. Not like this. Not for me,” Magnus replies with wet eyes.

 

Alec coughs out a rattling breath, blood peeking from behind his parted lips. He winces in the discomfort, unconsciously squirming in Magnus’ lap.

 

            “I need you Alexander. Come on baby don’t do this to me,” Magnus desperately pleads to the young man he cradles. Eyes darting across Alec’s body, free hand shaking and hovering over Alec’s ruined chest, unsure of what to do, what to touch, what, _what is happening?_

 

The Shadowhunters eyes shine with unfallen tears as he takes in the man holding him, energy fading as he grows paler by the second. Trembling in his lover’s arms he winces at another sudden jolt of pain, squeezing his eyes shut tight and forcing a tear to roll down his now cold cheek.

 

            “I can’t help you,” Magnus says with wide eyes, more to himself in disbelief than to the man bleeding out. “I can’t…” his thought trails off as the reality of the situation sinks in. Head and hands shaking as panic rises quickly in his gut.     

 

Alec’s legs are kicking out, grinding against the hard concrete floor. Feet scraping and digging into the ground as he tries to get away from the pain, to deal with the pain. It aches, oh it aches and he just wants it to stop. Alec is deteriorating quickly and he can only manage a wheeze of a breath before responding in a pained whisper.

 

            “Magnus.”

 

The Warlock can only hold him close and watch, utterly useless for the first time in his life. It leaves him stunned and unable to cope with the overwhelming hopelessness of it all.

 

Alexander’s eyes are dimmer now. Seeing something beyond Magnus. Beyond this ruined room, taking him past the unbearable pain and he relaxes slightly in the warm firm arms holding him.  Magnus knows this look. He has seen it too many times in his long life. He knows what it means and it breaks him, sending his stomach through the floor and into a depth even Edom could not reach.

 

This snaps Magnus out of his panicked daze and he grabs Alec’s cheek, shaking his face gently trying to focus his gaze. _Not yet. Not yet._

 

            “Yes Darling I’m here.”

 

            “Mags?” Alexander whimpers, distant eyes darting around the room in deep concern looking for his lover. The Warlock holds back a threatening sob. Alec is lost somewhere he cannot follow.

 

            “Alec I’m here, look at me,” Magnus begs.

 

The Warlock fakes his best smile, gently rubbing Alexander’s cheek with his thumb, hoping the familiar motion will bring Alec’s gaze back into focus. _Just please look at me, please one last time._

It takes Alec a moment, breath harsh and uneven, but his panicked brown eyes end their search beyond and snap up to meet his partners as if feeling his desperation.   

 

            “Magnus I’m, I’m trying to be strong, but I’m so scare…”

 

His bleak words are abruptly cut off with a strong aching cough. He reaches for Magnus’ chest and wraps his bloodied hand around the loose satin fabric of Magus’ shirt, clenching and twisting it around his wrist as another shockwave of pain radiates through his entire body.

 

Eventually, the pain pulsing like torrential waves crashing on a violent shoreline break down to a manageable level. Alec gasps for the strangled breath he had been holding through the agony, his grip loosening. He meets Magnus’ worried gaze and speaks his next words through bluing lips with a mixture of remorse and acceptance.

 

            “I love you,” Alec breaths out in a strained exhale, blood gurgling on the corners of his parted lips.

 

That’s it, the Warlock breaks. Magnus can no longer contain the patient wail that was hiding in his throat any longer. It creeps its way out of him inch by inch like a tarantula crawling out of a dry desert hole. He lifts Alec to his chest, squeezing his love tight in his arms, unable to accept the grim fate that is fast approaching. _Why, why, why?_

 

The haunting and unnatural sound of his desperate scream fades away. Cat eyes glowing in remorse as his lover no longer has the strength to return the embrace. Alec's blood soaked hand untangles from the soft fabric in its grip and drops heavily to the floor with a thud.

 

            “Mags…” Alec softly whispers into the Warlock's ear.

 

Magnus can feel Alec’s breathe tickle against his neck. A sensation that never fails to make him shiver. He gently lowers Alec back down, being careful to cradle his weak neck and now heavy head to properly look at him. Magnus does not bother to disguise his warm, fierce, and magical eyes.

 

But Alec smiles at this, forgetting his pain for just a moment to hum.

 

            “There you are beautiful.”

 

Alec’s smile grows larger at the thought, dimples creasing in corners. Even like this, even when in so much pain his smile is so sincere, _so beautiful._ Momentary peace is cut short by another small sharp cough that sends a stream of blood down the side of his chin. _Please, not yet._ Alec pays no notice. He has drifted again, his eyes looking beyond, but he manages a murmur.

 

            “My beautiful man. You’re safe?” Alec confesses with a hint of surprise, like he has forgotten the sacrifice he has made. 

 

Magnus runs his ring clad fingers through his lovers tangled brown hair, trying to provide any sort of comfort and any feeling besides pain. 

 

            “You saved me Darling,” Magnus comforts with a small warm smile, hot tears trailing down his cheeks.

 

            “You saved me and I’ll never forgive you.” Magnus repeats with a failed attempt at humor, Alexander’s brow furrows in concern.

 

            “I’m afraid you’ll have too this time Mags.” A cough interrupts him, “I don’t think you’ll get another chance.”

 

Magnus shakes his head, causing more tears to spill from his bright eyes. Meanwhile Alec's eyes droop heavily. Blinking is becoming difficult it seems and hard to manage.

 

            “Mags...I need you to do something for me.”

 

            “No Alexander, stop...stop this”

 

Another violent cough sends Alec’s body into a cruel shutter, feet kicking in hopeless retaliation. More blood seeps its way out of the edge of his soft lips. It’s hard to breathe when it’s so wet and he can only manage a small harsh inhale, while eyes remain sealed tight in pain and his forehead remains pinched in agony. _All this blood_ , Magnus thinks, all this blood should not be here. They should not be here. They should be in bed, tangled up with each other. Legs wrapped around legs, arms wrapped around chests and the blood _, the blood,_ that should be warming the blush of Alec’s cheeks. Not spilling out onto the floor. 

 

It takes Magnus a moment before he panics, realizing in his distress how stupid he has been. He might not be able to heal his great love, but he can try to make the pain more bearable. Magnus moves his free hand from his brilliant boys face and down to his ruined chest. He hesitates only a moment before pressing his hand down into the puddle of red that has so wrongly emerged. Blue light shines from beneath his palm, gently glowing and almost humming in response.

 

Alexander’s whole body releases its remaining bit of tension. Ankles relax, feet fall to the side, an arched back fully sinks into Magnus’ thighs and his eyes, _my eyes, my heart, my soul,_ finally fully open to focus without distraction on the Warlock.

 

            “There you are my love,” Magnus chimes with a soft sad smile.

 

            “Magnus...Is this it?” Alec asks, voice quiet and oddly calm.

 

Magnus’ face wrinkles tight, folding in shock and remorse at the question. It takes everything in him not to break and after a strained moment he can compose himself to answer.

 

            “I think so darling,” a hitched breath interrupts, “I’ve got you.” Trying to be strong.

 

            “Mags, you have to promise me something.” Alec says in a soft voice, finding a fleeting bit of strength in the absence of pain.

 

            “Anything Darling.”

 

A rattling breath powers Alexander’s next words. 

 

            “Promise me you will look after Izzy, Max, after Jace. I need them to be okay, I need you to protect them.”

 

 _I couldn’t protect you._ Magnus nods his head in agreement, blinking away persistent tears.

 

            “I need you to tell them it didn’t hurt in the end. Okay? That I’m proud of what I’ve done, for who I’ve done it for. Can you do that for me?” Alec pauses needing time to take in another faint gasp, red still making its way out of his blue lips. Magnus tries to help, palm glowing a little brighter. 

 

            “My Magnus,” Alexander says with a smile, “You have made me so happy. Please I need you to remember that most of all.” He stares seriously into Magnus’s glowing eyes, “Please always try and remember that for me.”

                                                                                                                     

Alec’s strength is gone now, his chest barely moves. Second’s feel like hours and he is cold. _Too cold, too too cold._

 

            “I will my love...every day,” Magnus manages to whisper. He slides the hand holding the back of Alec’s fragile head around a bit further, hugging him to the best of his ability. They rest forehead to forehead, Magnus able to do little else while helping Alec through the pain.

 

Alexander's hoarse breathing is almost inaudible, but Magnus can still feel the faint puffs of warm air against his own lips and they lock their heartbroken eyes on one another. 

 

            “I should have married you that day.” Alec sighs into the gaped mouth of his lover. Magnus can almost taste the sweet words on his tongue and waits for Alec’s warm breath to tickle him once more…

 

…..

 

...but it never does. _No no no no no._ The tragic realization hits Magnus immediately with a force unlike anything he has ever felt.

 

Magnus has experienced death, it has become just as constant as his never ending life. He has witnessed the demise, the destruction, the dimming of so many loved ones in his long existence that he thought he had been made numb. That is until this Nephilim, _his Nephilim, my beautiful beautiful Nephilim,_ brought him back to the surface. Saved him from his unrelenting and unforgiving reality; _what was the point of it all?_ Then suddenly he was no longer drowning and for the first time he let himself hope, let himself be naive and young again and full of not just love, but friendship again. Because this Man, _his Man,_ he was worth living for. He was worth forgiving all the pain. If simply and only for the way he looked back at him, for all the pure and altruistic emotion that shone through his eyes. It was beautiful being loved like that. _Was...was._          

 

Magnus presses his face into the cheek of his completely still Alexander. _Alexander, Alexander._ All these thoughts, all his pain, all the ruined hope not just from this lifetime, but as well from all the others explode out of Magnus and he releases a hellish mythical wail. So loud that even the Angels above are stricken with his sorrow.

 

With his hand still on his lovers chest he clutches Alec’s blood soaked shirt, twisting and squeezing it around in anger and pulling it and Alec’s limp body off of his legs and into a full upright embrace, rocking back and forth in agony. Alec’s heavy arms forever remain fallen, unable to reach up and wrap around his desperate lover.

 

The wail lingers in the air with an echo, his throat torn raw. Magnus cups the face of his cold Alexander, head now propped up against his chest and shoulder and once again he runs smooth circles with his thumb into Alec’s cheek. 

 

            “Please, please, please Alexander. You cannot leave me here.”

 

Alec’s head shakes with the trembling of Magnus’ body. Eyes half open and pale. Unable to see into his true loves grief-stricken gaze. Unable to hear his plea.

 

            “Please my Darling. I need you. I need you. I cannot live a day without you.”

 

Magnus weeps out his requests. Body trembling in rage, remorse, a no truer sorrow. He cups Alexander's cold face, the arm holding him gently shaking Alec’s lifeless body, hoping and pleading for it not to be true. _I’ll do anything, I’ll give anything._

Magnus’ rage slowly fades into the grief that will never leave him; his only true companion in his solitary eternal existence. He stares into Alec’s numb eyes.

 

“I am yours forever Alexander,” Magnus calls to his love, hoping somewhere, somehow that he can hear him, can feel his love and his gratitude and he bends forward for one last kiss.

 

…...

 

 _I’ll give anything._  

 

…...

 

…...

 

…...

With lips still lingering Magnus fails to notice the gradual and vital glow that begins in his chest and slowly begins to spread out across his entire body inch by inch….

 

**Author's Note:**

> *peeking out from my cave and whispering with a shrug* Too much??
> 
> Wrong answer! IT'S NEVER ENOUGH MWAHHAHA
> 
> SOOO I hope you don't hate me. Also disclaimer..I am no expert on this universe or these characters by any means. I just love the crap outta dem (which is why I'm mean to them, makes sense right...right?) Let me know in the comments what you would prefer first! Prequel or sequel... DUN DUN DUN!
> 
> Please leave Kudos if anyone is out there! I'd be oh so grateful!


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